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Tuesday, December 29, 2009,8:49 AM

okay, my emo days are finally over.

IM FREE.

it still hurts like a bitch from time to time,
but i'll get over it because i know that letting go is the right thing to do.

so now, im just trying to get back up.
probably try to " be a teenager."
blog again.
hold on tight to the people that really matter to me now.
hmmm...

till next time.




Friday, November 20, 2009,3:58 AM



Already gone..

I'm trying to find the answers,
but the deeper i dig..
the more confusing it gets,
the harder it is for me to let you go..

This song made sense to me,
touched me deep in my soul and made me realise..
that I can't force it,
that i can't hold on to you forever.

I don't even know if its a decision.
I'm not used to having this kind of confusion bombarding me.

I feel hollow, empty.
I keep asking myself why I feel this way.
Is it because i need you back?

But, i can't put myself in that position anymore.
I can't be with you and love you and give you what you need.
The idea of being weak and vulnerable and hurting,
it just terrifies me.

Promises don't mean anything anymore.
You can't promise me that you won't make me feel those things.
You can't promise that you won't make the same mistakes.
You can't promise ,
because i don't trust you.

Without trust, i know we'll crumble.
That means, i have to risk it.
And we are back to square one.

Faatin.






Monday, November 2, 2009,3:14 PM


Happy Belated 16th Birthday,
Siti Nurbaya!
Best girl, great friend...
I wish everyone would see her through my eyes.




Saturday, October 17, 2009,9:42 PM




heyya.
Im currently looking at designer bags from louis vuitton and gucci.
Me and Siti talked about how it would be nice
to work and save and then get a really expensive bag.
How I wish i have the self discipline to do that.
i mean like these bags are just two out of the seven that I want.
Their price tags range from $900 - $2000
I'd marry anyone who can get me all seven at one go.
Haha. Fat hope.
O's are coming. 4 more days to practicals.
Believe it or not, I'm still lazing around.
Someone kill me now.
Whatever it is, I dont wanna get more than a 13 for my L1R5.
I cant believe I'm left with.....3 weeks of my secondary school life.
Even though school is over, i still have studying to do.
I'll be leaving Dunman.
Kinda scary actually.
New experiences, new environment, new friends, new drama.
hmmm...Life still goes on.
Faatin, with love.
Adios.




Thursday, October 8, 2009,8:05 PM




























Overdue Hari Raya pics.
Taken with my useless camera phone.

Dasvidaniya.




Sunday, October 4, 2009,5:08 PM

hey everyone.



Take a look at this man .He looks normal doesnt he.. ..
Well, he is Josef Fritzl.

"On 28 August 1984,he drugged his teenage daughter, Elisabeth with ester and imprsoned her in a soundproof underground bunker, behind eight locked doors. For 24 years."

So, last night, I stayed up reading a book about him called MONSTER by Allan Hall.
The book is not the normal storybooks where they just describe what happens.
Basically, it is a compilation of the analysis and research made by the author based on the accounts of friends and other relatives of the Fritzl family.

The picture on top shows the family tree of the Fritzl Family.
From this you can see that Josef Fritzl fathered 7 children with his own daughter, Elisabeth.
All of them were brought into the world
not knowing the depravity that their mother had suffered all this while.
Four of her children were brought up to the world
above them to be taken care by Josef's wife.
One of the children, Kerstin, got seriously ill and Fritzl had no choice but to bring her out. And that decision he made became the key to the escape forthe cellar family.
When she was rescued from the underworld, only 3 of her children remained with her, Felix 5, Stefan 18 and Kerstin 19.
One of Elisabeth's child died of illness and Josef burned baby michael's body in the heating incinerator of the house.
Josef probably realised that he couldn't dump Kerstin,
who is almost adult size into the heating incinerator.
Talk about evil? Pfft.

So as you can see this is where Josef stored his cellar family.
This whole underground bunker was designed and created by him.
You might say that, "Oh at least he actually shows that he cares".
But, this bunker is really small and does not have any form of sunlight streaming in.
And because of that their skin became the colour of yellow parchment.
The lack of vitamins in their diet led to chronic gingivitis which in time would claim most of their teeth. The chamber was a horror to the police officers assigned to search it - and they never even had to spend a day or night init. Nor could they; the air was so foul that 11 criminologists working in shifts rotated every 2 hours for air before coming up for fresh air.

However, even in all this overwhelming fear and evil, the cellar family still held that light for hope and survival. I would like to quote a paragraph which really made me realise how much God and faith played a part in the survival of this family's sanity.

"The boys walked a little like drunken soldiers ; they had moved for so long like dwarf miners in a wretched Grimm gallery that they had trouble coordinating their movements , felt giddy and disoriented. Then, when Felix was let outside for the first time in his life and he looked up at the sky, he pointed and said : Is that where God lives? Hardened police officers found it hard to keep their tears at bay when they heard that."

Elisabeth Fritzl is someone we all should make examplary of. She is not only brave but she held the light not only for herself but for her children. She kept them all alive.

And to end it off,

One life is all we have and we live it as we believe in living it. But to sacrifice what you are and to live without belief, that is a fate more terrible than dying.

-Joan Of Arc

Do Svidaniya.




9:52 AM



I shall put the picture of this pretty lady in my brand new blog,
coz she helped me made it happen.

And fyi, its the first ever picture posted here.
Thanks babe. I'll blanja you one KFC salad aritey!

I really just wanted to post something up here.
but I don't really know what to post about.
I'll think of something.

See ya soon,
Arrivederci.